Author: londavis@hotmail.com

As Christmas time approaches, let me share a story a friend told me. There was a mother and grandmother of 14 who annually bought Christmas presents for all her children. As she aged and found this task increasingly challenging, she decided to send checks instead, thus allowing them to choose their own gifts. About a week before Christmas, she addressed all the Christmas cards, wrote “This year, I’m going to let you buy your own gifts,” and mailed them. When she returned home from the postoffice and looked at the table, she realized she had forgotten to include the checks with the cards.

This incident is a reminder that sometimes, we need someone else in control.

Our scripture for today is Romans 12:18:

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

I’ve always found this verse remarkable. It acknowledges that there are people who do not wish to live at peace with you. When you encounter them, what should you do? God’s word instructs us to live at peace with them, if it is at all up to us. Sometimes, it’s not in our hands.

This principle isn’t just about dealing with people who are hard to get along with; it’s about how to conduct oneself in all aspects of life. In Proverbs, we are exhorted to the following:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (3:5-6)

With these words, God offers us the promise of guiding our paths. We don’t need to control everything. We have someone wiser, smarter, and more powerful to guide us.

Lonnie Davis

Our scripture is Proverbs 22:18
“Do not move an ancient boundary stone set up by your ancestors.”

In days gone by, land was not surveyed. It was established by boundary stones. These were large rocks set at the corners of land. In our time, we don’t usually measure land by boundary stones. However, we do set boundaries all the time.

The one set of boundaries that everyone knows about are the 10 Commandments. They started with the “Thou Shalt Not” or “Thou Shall.” With those words from Exodus 20, God set clear boundaries for his people. “Thou shall have no other gods before me.” Actually, there are many other boundaries throughout the Bible. It is urgent that we know that boundaries were not made to make life hard, but to make life possible. You know that is true, because each of us has been tormented by an acquaintance, friend, or loved one who did not know how to respect a boundary.

Each family and each person has boundaries. My family certainly did. In my family, and I am sure in yours, we didn’t steal from one another. We didn’t lie to one another. When I first married Liz, she told me up front that I was not allowed to tease her or pull a prank on her. I’m not saying we were always perfect, but those were rules.
Of course, there were other rules or boundaries that were not so serious: don’t sing at the table, don’t get up from the table until you are excused, clean your plate, etc.

Unfortunately, in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, the concept of setting boundaries often takes a backseat. However, establishing clear and healthy boundaries is crucial for maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life.

All of us have boundaries.
There are emotional boundaries that control who or what we allow to influence our feelings and thoughts. When this boundary is crossed, we suffer emotionally.
There are physical boundaries: Everyone needs their own space, even if it’s just a chair.
We all have to set time boundaries. That one is about allocating time for work, play, and relaxation. This helps us maintain a healthy work-life balance. If you don’t build boundaries around your time, then the urgent things will smother the important things.

Make boundaries. Make boundaries on purpose. Make your boundaries known. They are essential for good relationships.

Lonnie Davis

The title for my lesson today is “Take Care of Yourself.” I chose this because this is one of the important things that a good counselor will tell those who come to them. 

The Scripture for today is Exodus 20:8-10. 

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work.”

You might look at this verse and ask what this verse has to do with taking care of yourself. The answer is simple. In Mark 2:27 Jesus explained, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” 

God gave us the seventh day of rest because he knew we needed it. It was not because God wanted to make another rule for us to break or a day to keep us from fishing or working. Keeping the Sabbath was God’s way of saying “Take care of yourself.”

I read a couple of quotes that are spot on about this subject.

1. “Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.” – Katie Reed

2”. “Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.” – L.R. Knost

By taking care of yourself you be able to help your loved ones, family, friends, and the stranger you may meet. Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” – Matthew 25:40. Take care of yourself because you can’t serve others if you have nothing left to give.

The next time you talk to someone, as you leave, say one parting line: “Take care of yourself.” They probably won’t understand the depth of the comment, but you will.

Lonnie Davis

Our text for today is James 1:2-3.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

We all go through struggles and failures that bring pain. When you face that pain, James said, “Count it all joy.” Be happy about it, because that pain will produce good things. Of course that is only if we grow from it and are williing to grow from it. 

When my youngest daughter was about four, she did something she should not have done and I disciplined her. She cried and I left her room. Soon it hit me that I should make sure she knows why she was punished. I went back to her room and ask her, “Honey do you know why I punished you?” She sobbed, “Yeah.” I asked why? She answered, “Because you are mad at me.” At that moment I was glad that I had that talk with her.

Pain always has a lesson in it. Learn the lesson from the pain. When we learn the lesson, then we will grow. If we do something thing brings pain and we don’t learn from it, then the pain is wasted and we are hopeless stuck in our ways.

I remember the story of the salesman who went to a farm and talked to an old farmer who was sitting on his front porch. As they began to talk, the old dog laying on the porch let out a moan. The dog got quiet and the man continued with his pitch. Soon the dog moaned again. 

The salesman asked the farmer, “Why is your dog moaning?” The farmer answered, “Aww, he is laying on a nail.” Puzzled the man asked, “Then why doesn’t he move?” The farmer answered, “It don’t hurt that bad.”

If our discomfort or pain doesn’t move us, then we are doomed to repeat the failures. Growth involves discomfort. Even if the discomfort is downright pain.

Lonnie Davis

Today’s Scripture is Proverbs 11:14

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” 

Have you ever been to counseling? Have you been several times? The truth is that from time to time we could all grow from it.

Because of doing decades of counseling, both as a minister and in community settings, I have needed to know what to tell those who come for counseling. This week I asked myself what six things almost all counselors need to tell those who come. I answered that question from personal experience and with a little research. Here are those six things everyone needs to know: These are not in any special order, but just a list.

1. Change is a process. It doesn’t happen all at once. We have to work to know what to change and how to accept it.

2. You are not alone. Whatever you are going through, others have also faced. We can learn from others who have walked the same path and won the victory.

3. Asking is okay. The world doesn’t need more people who are too stubborn to ask others.

4. Boundaries are necessary. A child needs to know boundaries that are set by their parents and by society. Every, every human being needs boundaries in their life.

5. Growth involves discomfort. If you stay in your “comfort zone,” then you will never grow. Or if you do grow it will be very, very slow. 

6. You can’t control everything. Learn to know the things which you cannot change and accept that fact and grow from there. Nobody always gets their own way, every time. Life does not work that way.

The sooner you and I accept those truths, (and others not listed here) the sooner we can work on being joyful. 

Lonnie Davis

Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s an important step towards healing and growth.  

We sat in a golf cart. I asked him to play golf because his marriage was crumbling. I knew he would never ask for or even accept counseling. I figured if I could get him on the golf course for 4 hours, he would be trapped and he would have to listen. My plan half worked. His response to my suggestion about getting help from a wise counselor was, “No. I will never go to a counselor. Not ever!” With many other words I exhorted him to work on the problem with someone wise. 

Why would I exhort such? The wisest man who ever lived told us: 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

There are times when we all need a little help, to talk with someone who has walked our path. If anyone will never ask for help, then it might be because of one of three reasons:  

1. Maybe they believe they have all wisdom. Job’s friends who bedeviled him with ignorant but loving hearts, were told by Job, “Doubtless you are the only people who matter, and wisdom will die with you!” – Job 12:2.  

2. Another reason some reject help is because they already have their mind made up. There is no help for the self-willed.   

3. Maybe some just don’t know anybody who can help. Ask around. There is someone.  

We have all had a teacher who says, “There are no stupid questions.” Actually, I like Leonardo da Vinci’s statement better: “He who asks a question is a fool for a minute; he who does not remains a fool forever.”  

In other words, when in need reach out for help.  

Lonnie Davis

Today, I have something different for you. I am sharing with you what we will focus on for the week. We have already done two of these lessons.

Suppose you were going to go to a counselor, what would they tell you? This week we will look at six things everyone will eventually hear from their counselor.

I start by reading Galatians 6:9.

“Let’s not get tired of doing what is good, for at the right time we will reap a harvest—if we do not give up.”

One fellow paraphrased this verse as “Keep on keeping on.” I love that principle, but there are times we don’t know what the right path is. At such times we need to talk to someone who can help us. Sometimes our counselor is our grandmother, or aunt, or teacher, or whoever has shown themselves to be wise in our eyes. 

As one who spent decades counseling as a minister and then, after getting a degree in counseling, working with members of the church and the community, I know some of the things people need to hear.

This week, we will consider six truths everyone needs to know.

We’ve already looked at two of them.

1. Pebbles on the Path – The Process of Change.

And 

2. You Are Not Alone – Others have walked the same path.

Here are the next four:

3. It’s Okay to Ask for Help, You are not Superman or Wonder Woman.

4. The Necessity of Boundaries – Know when to say No! (Or Yes)

5. Growth Involves Discomfort – Be willing to go out on a limb; that is where the fruit is!

6. You Can’t Control Everything – Knowing what you CAN control is half the solution.

Tomorrow, we will continue our series with “It’s Okay to Ask for Help—You are Not Superman.”

I believe you will find each of these to be thoughts worth thinking about.

Lonnie Davis

Jesus told his apostles, 

“An hour is coming and has already come when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and you will leave Me all alone. Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” – John 16:32

Even Jesus addressed being alone. In this verse we see that not being around people does not necessarily make you lonely, at least not as long as we feel the presence of God. But often you and I, left alone do experience loneliness. In fact, recent studies have found a range of 20–50% of people who express feelings of loneliness at times.

Why? Among the reasons listed in the research were:

1. Digital Communication
2. Changing Social Structures
3. COVID-19

True, but misleading. People have felt lonely for as long as mankind has existed. Even Cain worried about this when, after he killed his brother, he told God, “I will be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.” (Genesis 4:14). In short, Cain felt he would be alone.

What can we do about loneliness?

First, we need to learn the difference between alone time and being lonely. You can be lonely in a crowd. Or, you can be by yourself and not feel lonely. Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness, communed with only God, and yet certainly did not feel lonely. He came from this experience and built a community of thousands of followers.

Here are some great steps to fighting loneliness:

1. Realize you don’t have to be lonely. If up to 50% of people fret about feeling lonely, then surely you recognize they long for community and someone like you.

2. Put yourself out there. Reach out to other people. There is a book on personal evangelism called, “Just Walk Across the Room.” In other words, make the effort to talk to and connect to others. Put yourself in charge of this effort.

3. Be interested in other people and let them know it.

Obviously, there are other things one can do, but these are great starter steps. 

Let’s close with the words of a poet:

Sometimes I get lonely, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook  
Always connecting but not connected  

Sometimes I get lonely, Looking to the future  
Forgetting to be in the present  

Sometimes I get lonely, Thinking someday, one day  
Never thinking right here, right now  

Sometimes I get lonely, Phone’s on, WiFi’s up  
Waiting for it to buzz  

Sometimes I get lonely  
Just waiting…Always waiting…  

…Anon 

So, stop waiting. Remember Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV)

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” Or herself be friendly.

Lonnie Davis

Our text for today is 2 Corinthians 5:17.” 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

Do you see the need for change in this verse? When people starts following God, their lives are changes. “The old has gone, the new is here.” 

But how does change happen. The answer is that it happens little by little. Change is a process. It is the journey and not the destination. Each step is just a pebble on the path. Each pebble is just a pebble, but with enough pebbles you will eventually have a path.

This is true in all change. It is true when a person changes a career, for becoming a parent, for becoming a good parent. For becoming a husband or wife, for becoming a good husband or a good wife. It is true for learning to eat healthy food. 

We all have to change, but how does it come. I heard one man describe financial bankruptcy this way. It said it does not happen all at once. It happens little by little and then all at once. Change in your life happens in the same way. 

When one first makes a decision to follow Christ, he or she is not instantly changed. We take baby steps to grow into the one we want to be. Change, whether for good or bad, is a process. A wise person will accept that fact.

What is it you want to be? A kind person? A wise person? A fun person? A good wife? A good husband? A writer? A good writer? A good golfer? A good cook?

All of this takes time. This is the reason that it takes 13 years of study and work to become a physician and surgeon. Work toward things and change will happen little by little and then all at once, pebble by pebble and then a path.

Making and accepting change calls on us all to lean on Philippians 4:13: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Lonnie Davis

Our text for today is Matthew 6:34

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.”

My kids grew up observing one habit of mine. Whenever we would hear an ambulance coming down the street, I would say, “Kids, you think you are having a hard day? No, but somebody else is.”

Have you ever thought about an ambulance? An ambulance tears around town with its siren blaring. It is always going to a crisis or leaving a crisis. It is built for emergencies.

Too many people live life the same way. They run their lives with a siren going. Every day is desperate, and every moment is a crisis or preparation for one. They manage their time by putting out the latest fire.

Such a frantic existence leaves no room for smelling roses or enjoying sunsets. Even worse, it leaves no time for sharing friendships and building love.

What if some of the things you are racing around to do did not get done? Suppose you substitute a quiet walk around the block or time off to call on a friend or time out to read a book?

Or even better, can you find the time to read the Good Book? Suppose you wrote an encouraging note to someone who really needed it? Would your world fall apart? Perhaps it would help put your life back into perspective. Remember, God will work all things out if you will just lean on him. 

As 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “Indeed, our lives are guided by faith, not by sight.” In other words, walk the walk of faith.

Lonnie Davis